Divorce is never easy, but when the marriage is unerasable, something like mutual divorce should be considered the least painful approach forward. In India, mainly Delhi, mutual divorce is almost fully governed by Section 13B, which deals with the Hindu Marriage Act, of 1955. Similar provisions exist in other personal laws. It requires consent from both partners before proceeding to file for divorce mutually.
Encouraging your partner to go for a mutual divorce might be a complex task, especially if other factors, such as emotions, misunderstandings, or peer or societal pressures, are involved. If considering such a move, it is essential to treat it with care, patience, and legal knowledge.
What is a Mutual Divorce?
- A divorce by mutual consent is essentially one in which the husband and wife agree to separate and sign a joint petition saying that they have been living apart for more than a year. This type of divorce does not take place in a courtroom.
- In India, this is the fastest, most dignified way of obtaining a divorce, as each party agrees to separation voluntarily. They acknowledge that they can’t stay together in perfect harmony. Generally, all issues related to maintenance, child custody, asset division, and shelter of a spouse are amicably kept in the petition.
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Reasons Why Your Partner May Resist Mutual Divorce
Understanding why your partner is refusing to proceed further would allow you to remedy their concerns. The reasons for common include:
- Emotional Attachment: One partner may still have feelings and hope for reconciliation.
- Social Stigma: Family and societal pressure may be the two main causes of hesitation.
- Relative Financial Dependence: If one partner is financially dependent on the other, the very thought of divorce may grasp him or her with fear.
- Child Custody Concerns: If there are children involved, he/she may be worried about their future.
- Legal or Property Issues: Disagreements over alimony, the division of assets, or property ownership may slow things down.
Effective Strategies to Convince Your Partner for Mutual Divorce
Initiate an Honest and Respectful Conversation
Having reached the stage where one of the spouses wishes to end the marriage, it might be a good time to sit before the partner and have a mature and honest conversation. Look for a neutral and private place to talk without interference from some outside source.
- Calmly and rationally express your feelings.
- Do not blame or criticize; state why the marriage isn’t working.
- Say that a mutual divorce means dignity and peace for both parties, rather than a drawn-out legal fight.
Respond with Empathy
If your partner is unwilling to go, listen to his or her worries and try to respond to them.
- If the worries stem from societal prejudices, assure them that society is evolving, and divorce is no longer frowned upon.
- If finances are of concern, make compromises on fair alimony or settlement options.
- If there are worries about child custody, suggest joint custody or an arrangement that serves the child’s best interest.
- Being respectful of their fears can lead them to be more amenable to agreeing.
Mediation or Counselling
Sometimes involving a neutral third party helps in advancing the discussion.
- Family counsellors or therapists are helpful with insight into the different views of the partners.
- Legal mediators can help in the financial and legal resolution of divorce cases without enmity.
- An intermediary may be used in case direct communication proves to be impossible due to various reasons. A trusted family member or friend can fulfil this role.
Illustrate the Legal and Emotional Benefits of Mutual Divorce
Explain to your partner why mutual divorce is best for both.
- No Dramatic Courtroom Proceedings: Unlike the lengthy and dramatic process of court cases, a mutual divorce can take only about six to twelve months.
- Reduced Legal Fees: Because contested divorces also usually become battles of their own, the billable hours can really rack up by the time all is said and done. However, mutual divorce is less expensive and can usually be negotiated basically.
- Lesser Emotional Distress: A bitter fight in court can cause immense emotional hardship. Whereas mutually parting ways allows both partners to remain on amicable terms.
- More Peaceful for Children: In the rare event that there are children involved, this means that such an amicable separation does not expose them to prolonged fights between their parents.
Offer a Fair Financial Arrangement
Many divorces become complicated due to bad financial positions. If your spouse is apprehensive concerning financial status, then try proposing a fair arrangement.
- Discuss alimony options that would provide for such means.
- Discuss plans of division involving cars, houses, and bank savings.
- Discuss educational and child support, as appropriate.
- A sufficiently rational financial arrangement can ease the way out for both sides.
- Do not take them into agreeing to a divorce through blackmail.
- Do not use threats of lawsuits; they will only serve to create a defensive reaction.
- Do not use the children as bait.
- Be gentle and allow time to process the question.
- Do not force them, but rather help them understand why both of you are better off getting divorced.
Consider Real-Life Examples
If your partner is concerned about divorce due to social stigma, consider showing examples of people who positively grew their lives post-divorce.
- Mention friends, relatives, or high-profile celebrities who have remarried or revived their lives after separation.
- Give accounts of successful co-parenting that worked wonders for children.
- It will help him know he’s not the only one going through this.
Be Prepared for Legal Battle
It is possible that you might have to go for a contested divorce in the arrival of your spouse’s refusal to concede on any account that you took action together on.
- Gather evidence of conjugal strife and avoidable incidents capable of justifying divorce.
- Discuss with an experienced divorce lawyer in Delhi what legal options you might pursue.
- If you’re going to have a contested divorce, expect it to last a while longer.
The K. Srinivas Rao vs. D.A. Deepa (2013) case clarified the process of mutual consent divorce under Section 13B of the Hindu Marriage Act, emphasizing that both parties must voluntarily agree to dissolve the marriage. The Supreme Court confirmed the six-month cooling-off period but allowed its waiver in exceptional cases. It stressed that mutual consent divorce should not be delayed or interfered with unless coercion or fraud is suspected. The judgment streamlined the procedure for mutual divorce and reinforced that the parties’ consent must be genuine. It marked an important step towards more efficient and respectful divorce proceedings.
In Sureshta Devi v. Om Prakash (1991), the Supreme Court validated mutual consent divorce, emphasizing that both parties must genuinely agree to it without coercion.
In another case V. Bhagat v. D. Bhagat (1994) Court highlighted the irretrievable breakdown of marriage as a valid ground for divorce, urging that mutual consent is the quickest way to end marital disputes. Sahil Sharma v. State of U.P. (2007) encouraged mutual divorce as a less contentious and emotionally healthier alternative to litigation.
In Indra Sarma v. V.K.V. Sarma (2013), the Court reinforced that mutual consent should be voluntary and emphasized that forced continuation of a marriage violates personal freedom.
Mutual divorce is best, but understanding your legal rights prepares you for praying for a miracle.
Conclusion
Mutual divorce negotiations require much perseverance and patience, plus open communication. Instead of coercive pressure on your partner, concerning an amicable separation, point out exactly why it would serve the best interests of both. Tackle his or her concerns, state your position regarding a fair settlement, and suggest mediation, if necessary. If all else fails, you should be ready for legal alternatives.
Always remember, divorce is not an end, it’s a new beginning. When the approach is right, the couple can part ways with respect and independently look forward to a happier future.
One can talk to a lawyer from Lead India for any kind of legal support. In India, free legal advice online can be obtained at Lead India. Along with receiving free legal advice online, one can also ask questions to the experts online free through Lead India.
FAQs
What if my spouse does not agree to a mutual divorce?
If the spouse is still not willing for a mutual divorce, mediation and counselling could be attempted to make him or her understand the advantages of conducting a mutual divorce. However, if the spouse is still unwilling, one may have to file a contested divorce on any of the grounds available by law, such as cruelty, desertion, or adultery. In such matters, one should consult with a lawyer well versed in divorce matters.
What is the approximate time taken for a mutual divorce in Delhi?
A mutual divorce generally takes about six months to one year, but an extremely rare case may allow a waiver of the six-month cooling-off period based on some special and well-justified circumstances as determined by the court.
What financial aspects should be covered in a mutual divorce?
Financial settlements should include maintenance, sharing of property, child support, and alimony. It is advisable to have the settlement drawn up legally to prevent future disputes.