Marriage Counselling In India

The need for counselling arises when the issues, as well as conflicts between the couples, remain unsolved for a longer period. Inconsistent behaviour among the couples leads to tensions which are a consequence of unresolved issues. With a brief introduction to marriage counselling this article focuses on the types of marriage counselling and the need for it. Different types of counselling therapies have been also discussed in the article.

In India marriage is regarded as a religious sacrament which is a sacred union of a man and woman. In this relationship, both of them are bound to each other both physically as well as mentally. Along with commitment, marriage comes with responsibilities as well as compromises to a certain extent. It takes two to tango. Similarly, it takes two for reaching a peaceful co-existence and compromise.

Every marriage has ups and downs. Counselling in India is mostly offered by family and professional counsellors. They help the couple in reaching a mutual understanding with respect to their issues and decisions. The cost of marriage counselling ranges from INR 200-7000 per session. The effectiveness of the counselling varies with each case. There has been a significant increase in the success rate of counselling. However, it also depends on factors such as respecting each other’s opinions and differences.

Marriage counselling is psychological therapy for resolving conflicts between couples by a professional counsellor.

There are two types of marriage counseling: -

1. Pre-marital Counselling - is a form of counseling where the couples before entering into marriage prepare themselves through counseling. It is important for a couple to understand each other in every aspect of life. Therefore, they must discuss issues including finances, beliefs, values, religion, roles to be played in marriage, and relationships with each other's family and children. Any potential area of conflict can be detected at this stage and resolved with the guidance of the counselor. A strong foundation for marriage is thereby built with premarital counseling.
2. Post-Marriage Counselling - as the name suggests, in this type of counseling, couples enter into counseling after their marriage or are already married. a married couple can take counseling sessions at any time they feel the need for it and there is no bar of time. Real circumstances arise and are faced by the couple after marriage. Couples as individuals have different opinions, thoughts, emotions, and different ways of communicating. The scope of conflicts and differences grows when both of them become adamant regarding the issues between them and don’t want to resolve them. Therefore, post-marriage counseling handles such situations between the couples by conducting sessions by any professional.

In the process of marriage counseling, the counsellor plays a vital role. The counsellor aims to use such techniques or approaches that help the couple overcome issues and challenges faced by the couple in their marriage.

The counsellor conducts sessions that can range from short to long term depending on the issues between the couples. The counsellor also helps in assessing and identifying circumstances where trust was broken, thereby helping the couple to rebuild it.

Marriage is of unpredictable nature that can take any individual higher or pull one down. Therefore, it is said there are ups and downs in every marriage. When unresolved conflicts between the couples take a sharp turn affecting both the individuals mentally as well as physically then only marriage counselling is sought.

However, there has been a social stigma attached to the process of marriage counselling by certain parts of society.  Before any kind of emotional outburst or taking a grave step, the couples must seek counselling. Professional help in the process of counselling tends to benefit the couple. Following are reasons that require the process of counselling by the couples.

1. Issues while communicating- Communication is an important aspect. Good communication can solve half of the conflict.
2. Intimacy Issue
3. Conflicts among the family
4. Infidelity
5. Separation or divorce
6. Misunderstanding and failure in the understanding difference of opinion
7. Anger issues

Counselling sessions held by professionals use various techniques of therapy sessions to help the couples. A counsellor generally analyses and examines the couple based on a given set of questions to detect the area of issue. Further, based on the responses by the couple, the counsellor uses the following therapy session.

1. Emotionally focused Therapy- The counsellor focuses on the couple to express and communicate their feelings and underlying emotions thereby making them understand the reason behind the suppressed feelings. The counsellor also encourages them to convey the same to their partner.
2. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy-This therapy helps one understand how one’s behaviour is influenced by their thoughts. Therefore, the counsellor helps the individual understand their thoughts and have control over them by not reflecting them in their actions. The process of thought reversal is focused on by the therapist.
3. Positive Psychology Technique- This method of therapy is generally used for couples who feel the loss of spark in their relationship. It is done by reminding the beautiful and good memories the couple has during the early stage of their marriage.
4. Solution-Focused Therapy- This method is used for couples when a couple is very intrinsically involved in their issues that no matter how simple the solution is; they are unable to reach such a solution. The counsellor guides the couple in working directly on the solution instead of focusing on the root cause.

1. Analysing Patterns- Behavioural patterns are analyzed along with the identification of the triggers leading to conflict by a counsellor.
2. Mediator/Coach- a healthy relationship is facilitated between the couples along with effective communication with the help of a counsellor who acts as a mediator
3. Tools for improving Communication- With proper and effective communication with the couples can solve issues and conflicts among them
4. Realistic Expectation- Instead of creating an imaginary picture of what another partner wants, one must learn to accept the difference and create a realistic picture.
5. Accountability- Couples are assigned assignments along with role models for reference to work on their issues by the counsellor. These techniques assigned to the couples enable them to make an effort which creates a pattern for standing at the test of time.

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